Here is what happened to summer. Behold, 28 sunshine-yellow little post-it notes!
The more I use social networks, the less I understand them, but they’re pretty much the only way I have to gauge this project’s ongoing popularity. This month’s biggest hit, both on Instagram and Facebook, was the ear plug. This surprised me as I thought it was a pretty basic idea not drawn very well, but what can you do. The pitta bed was a similar experience.
The other side of the coin was the anatomic bomb, which was a pretty good idea, pretty well drawn, and it was pretty well-received too, so what do I know?
Prior to meeting my better half, I had never seen a James Bond movie. I considered this an achievement of sorts. Lilly, however, has a fondness for them, so over the past eight years or so, I’ve seen what I assume is all of them, and most of them at least twice!
The problem with this is a bit like being introduced to twins, or how I used to have back-to-back German and Spanish classes in high school – everything just goes into the same file in the brain-cabinet. In that spirit, here is me tipping out the contents of the James Bond file as it currently appears in my mind.
- There’s an early one with Odd Job, who has a deadly bowler hat. They are fighting over some gold
- Wheelchair villain scooped up by a helicopter ‘I’ll buy you a delicatessen in stainless steel!’
- There is one where the villain is a man with three nipples who has a sociopathic dwarf assistant. They live on Thunderbird Island
- There is one with Willard Whyte. Baja?!
- There is one where the villain is on a boat called M.Y. Disco Volante. Does he have an eyepatch? He says ‘jettison cocoon’ and James Bond is dressed up like a saveloy sausage
- There are two with Jaws, one where he falls out of a closet in a train and one where he falls in love with a tiny blonde girl with glasses in space
- There is one exceptionally racist one set in the bayous of Louisiana? Or are they all exceptionally racist?
- Roger Moore’s tiny plane that appears out of a horse’s backside? Lesbian pilot school?
- There is one starring Christopher Walken and Grace Jones, Walken has a blimp and Jones rides a bomb Dr Strangelove style
- James Bond rides a cello down a ski slope?
- There is a Pierce Brosnan one where he drives a car around a car park from his giant Nokia communicator, and one featuring jungle thug Goldie. I’ve no idea if they’re the same movie
- There’s another Brosnan movie where he makes his car invisible at some big ice palace
- In one of the modern Daniel Craig ones he uses a pocked defibrillator on himself. It may or may not be the same movie where there’s some nasty rape scene in that hotel in the middle of the desert that I thought was totally inappropriate for a 12A-rated movie
- In Skyfall they blow up the big house in Scotland and Judi Dench dies
…That’s about the extent of it. If nothing else, I think I got the chronology vaguely right?
I got some stickers made up of a post-it doodle from earlier this year, for no other reason than they seemed like a good idea. Would you like some? Yeah you would! They are orange because that’s the colour they’re meant to be, and blue because that’s the colour of my bicycle (although my bike isn’t a road machine like this!).
If you go here and Paypal me just £2, wherever you are in the world, I will post you two of each colour. What a good deal!
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